Am a lady at her early 30’s. Been married for more than 6 years . Just like many, my marriage has not been smooth always. My husband used to cheat on me quite much. And this really killed my self esteem.
Would ask myself what is it that I don’t have. Am I not beautiful enough, do I not treat him right. As in I cook good food for him, I respect him, I never deny him sex, I work, I contribute on home expenses etc.
This would really break me. I even went through a major depression at some point I had to seek professional counselor😭😭.
Funny thing he would cheat with two diff ladies always. He stops and after some time goes back to the other lady and the cycle continued. He would always blame me for his cheating.
One day I woke up and decided enough was enough, its time I started living my life and stop letting him dictate my happiness.
I started going out with my girlfriends. We would hanged out at Kiza, Whisky Rivers, B club etc. It was really fun and felt like my life was coming back.
I became jovial, started seeing the need and reasons for me being alive. I didn’t mention I was very suicidal at some point of my life to an extend I got admitted in hospital for a week due to attempted suicide. And am grateful to my friends they helped me walk through this.
Now here is my problem or do I call it my mistake.😂 There is this guy who used to flirt with me long ago but I turned down his advances, reason being I was married n I respected my marriage. He was the bold type and I liked that though. He was married but without kids.
The devil is a liar. I one day got a call from him. He wanted me to organize a package he had left in my office( work related) and have it delivered to him. That day I was in such a good mood. I decided to deliver it myself for him and that’s how we started talking again.
One thing led to another and within a duration of 4 months, I was already screwing him. It was the best sex ever.🙈. The guy would eat my pussy like his life depended on it.
He has never fucked me without eating my pussy. He was the first man to make me squirt. And not to mention the way he was blessed down there😋.Am even wet as am typing this🙊.To make this short, he was just a freak in bed.
And personally am a hoe when it comes to bed matters too😋. And by the way my husband never ate my pussy🐈. I have given him like 3times BJ and I stopped. If u can’t reciprocate the favor, then why should I keep on doing it. 😆
Back to this guy, it became an habit to an extend we got an apartment in Kilimani for just screwing. I would meet him twice a week.
There are a no of times I would screw let’s call him Kevin( I hear dudes with this names are hoes😂😂) Kevin and my husband would want to fuck me, but when I remembered the suffering he put me through I would give him knowing very well Kevin had already been in there😂😂😂. And I would still cum like it didn’t happen before. I love sex so that wasn’t an issue. If anything I felt satisfied.
My escapades with Kevin took me to coast and Kisumu for just a fuck. I would go in very early in the morning (flight)and in the evening am back cooking for my bae. It was the best moments of my life .
Did I mention the first time we had sex with Kevin the condom broke😭😭. But I took P2 and also tested for HIV which was negative, I fear so much. Couldn’t risk getting infected.
A few weeks later, I started feeling sick. Went to the hospital n was given medication but the sickness couldn’t go away. Decided to do a pregnancy test and viola, I was positive.😢😢. Thought of terminating it coz I knew very well it ain’t my husband’s.
A month after my discovery I told Kevin , shock on me ,he was very excited. He convinced me not to terminate. That he will never cause any trouble between me and my hubby because of a baby. And that the baby will always be my husband’s regardless. And it will be so wrong of me to get rid of it considering the fact that he has been trying to get a baby with the wife for almost 15 years. We also did a DNA with Kevin when I was pregnant and it came out positive .meaning it was his.
I kept the pregnancy. My hubby knew I was pregnant n he was also excited too😘. I continued screwing Kevin till the last months of my pregnancy. I know’ many of you will call me a hoe.😂😂
Gave birth to a baby, who is now 10 months. I stopped seeing Kevin when baby was 6 months(after baby was born we screwed 3 times’ am a CS person). I just blocked him with no apparent reason . I felt like a needed to straighten my life n stop all that shit.
We haven’t talked with Kevin for 4 months now. But my problem is I think of him everyday. Especially when I see my baby. All I think of is this dude who would take me to cloud nine and back😍.
I always have this guilt of my hubby raising a baby who is not his . I always worry of what if he ever finds out. Will that be the end of my marriage? What will people (family)say?
One thing am certain is Kevin can never tell on me or cause shit because of the baby. He got his reputation to keep too. We both come from prominent families hence we got so much to lose anyway.
He has never looked for me because I blocked him everywhere. But I don’t even know whether he even tried. Though that doesn’t matter. Because it ain’t like am looking forward to him calling or looking for me. Am just done with that and I want to live my life peacefully . Kevin is 10 years older than me.
To make this clear, this was my first time to ever cheat, my husband was my no. 2 boyfriend ( thou have had a thing with a lady when I was young- a story for another day) n I also got married at a very tender age. Got two other babies too.
My husband stopped his hoeing and he is really trying to bring us back to the old us. My sex life with bae changed. I never feel him at all. I have sex just coz I got to and sometimes I fantasize with Kevin while we are on it with husband. N I always wonder what to do to bring the sex drive back. Anyone with a solution??? They are welcomed..
Lastly are there ladies who have kids who aren’t their husbands??? Is it possible to keep this secret to the grave?
Or at some point I will be discovered?
Note: I don’t blame my husband for my mistakes though I normally say he pushed me that far. I have never shared this with anyone. So kindly keep it a secret. Thanks to this platform I can now breathe.
