I hope you will keep me anonymous. I have gone through a lot that doesn’t coincide with my age now that am early 20’s.
Outside you may think am happy or even in a happy relationship with my family but am not. I grew up in a well-structured family in terms of religion, and my parents were those parents who are really strong believers.
They could not allow either of our siblings to socialize with other people and I felt caged. Went to high school, but due to too much force and pressure, I had to denounce my religion.
Now that’s where the problem started. I had never fucked a girl, taken alcohol, and wanted to experience how these shits happen.
To cut the story short, everybody in my family lost trust in me. Whenever we are family gathering nobody allows me to say a word, fuck. I feel isolated but fuck it anyway. Am on campus right now.
The things have done make me feel like I don’t deserve to be in that family anymore.
No one calls me now that I have more than four siblings. I have tried making friends but it doesn’t work, I usually I don’t deserve that.
I have tried dating, but after a couple of days, I lose interest and I just leave the girl stranded.
Am fluent, am good at cracking jokes, am handsome but the thing is, I never get the happiness every human being deserves.
I get good cash, but I end up drinking myself to death at least to feel free. You know that drunken feeling, it makes some shit go away. I know it’s wrong but what should I do